The optimist says: "The glass is half-full." The pessimist says: "The glass is half-empty". And while they are arguing, the pragmatist takes the glass and drinks it.
The project manager says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow.
And the cynic... wonders who drank the other half.
The professional trainer does not care if the glass is half full or half empty, he just knows that starting the discussion will give him ten minutes to figure out why his powerpoint presentation is not working.
The ground-down mother of a persistently demanding five-year-old says sweetheart it's whatever you want it to be, just please let mummy have five minutes peace and quiet.
The consultant says let's examine the question, prepare a strategy for an answer, and all for a daily rate of...
The inquisitive troublemaker wants to know what's in the glass anyhow... and wants the rest of it.
The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by next morning.
The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn't.
The entrepreneur sees the glass as undervalued by half its potential.
The computer programmer says the glass is full-empty.
The Buddhist says don't worry, remember the glass is already broken.
The personal coach knows that the glass goes from full to empty depending on the circumstances, and reminds the drinker that he can always fill the glass when he wishes.
The grammarian says that while the terms half-full and half-empty are colloquially acceptable the glass can technically be neither since both full and empty are absolute states and therefore are incapable of being halved or modified in any way.
The auditor first checks whether the empty half is material and then designs the audit procedures to obtain sufficient evidence to conclude that the glass is indeed empty.
The magician will show you the glass with the full half at the top.
The physician says that the glass is not empty at all - it is half-filled with water and half-filled with air - hence, fully filled on the whole!
The ineffective organization would discuss the question during the board of directors meeting, convene a committee to research the problem, and assign tasks for a root cause analysis, usually without a complete explanation of the problem to those assigned the tasks. The directors would consider the problem to be above the pay grade of those assigned root cause analysis tasks.
The 'perfect' 1950s housewife would not leave the glass sitting there long enough for anyone to consider the question, but would scoop it up, wash it up, dry it to a gleaming shine and put it back in the glass cabinet in a jiffy. No half-full or half-empty in her world... just a full glass or an untidy one.
The obsessive compulsive postpones the question until the level is checked, and checked again, and again, and again...
The phobic says yuck, someone drank out of it and left their germs on the glass.
The psychiatrist would ask you, "Is the half-empty/half-full glass really that important? I mean... really? Think about it. If fact, let's not. Let's set that particular issue aside for a few moments and talk about what's really bothering you.."
The sales person will convince you that even though the glass is half full/empty you are getting more than your money's worth compared to buying a full glass. The full glass is less expensive because of the economies of producing a common standard version in big quantities, whereas the more expensive half full/empty glass represents much better value because it is more exclusive and better quality, and very hard to come by and greatly sought after.
The co-dependent hurries to fill your glass, but not so completely that you would spill it and get upset. Because when you get upset...
The Taoist sees that the glass is both half empty and half full, that neither half could exist without the other, requiring a point of balance in order to maintain equilibrium in the universe, and therefore, are merely two mirror images of the same realistic concept, so in the purity of absolute truth the glass is neither half full or half empty, the glass simply IS...
And the dog just wonders: can he eat the glass or will you throw it so he can bring it back...
If you are dissatisfied with your ‘Life Position’…then you can contact me:
Tel: 07880 668651 or EMAIL:
[email protected]
http://www.signaturetherapy.co.uk/
Professional Therapist, based in Hale offering counselling and psychotherapy services in South Manchester covering the Wilmslow, Altrincham and Cheshire areas
