The Most Underrated Skill in Leadership: Listening Like You Mean It

Let’s be honest. Most leaders don’t actually listen.
They nod. They agree. They wait for their turn to speak. But true listening, the kind that makes people feel seen, heard, and safe is rare. And it’s exactly what’s missing in too many leadership conversations today.

We’ve been taught to fix, to direct, to solve. There’s this pressure to always have the answer, right? But the more I lead, the more I realise: real impact doesn’t come from the perfect pitch or the fastest solution. It comes from slowing down long enough to actually hear what’s being said  and more importantly, what’s not being said.

I’ve sat in countless meetings where everyone was technically present, but no one was really there. You can feel it. People talk, but they don’t open up. They hold back. They tell you what they think you want to hear. And you walk away wondering why no one’s taking ownership, why things aren’t shifting.

It’s not that they don’t care. It’s that they don’t feel heard. And when people stop feeling heard, they stop bothering to speak up.

When that happens, you don’t just lose good ideas. You lose trust, energy, and momentum.

Because it doesn’t look productive on the surface. Listening feels passive. It doesn’t tick a box or fill a KPI. But in reality, it's one of the most active, emotionally intelligent, and high-leverage things you can do as a leader.

And I don’t just mean being quiet while someone else talks. I mean listening with presence. Listening with curiosity. Listening without already preparing your response in your head. That’s where the magic is, because that’s where real connection lives.

Here’s what I’ve learned  and what I actively practise myself (still learning every day):

1. Shut the laptop during 1:1s
   Nothing says “you’re not a priority” like being half-present. Give people your full attention. It matters more than you think.

2. Pause before responding
   That brief silence after someone speaks? That’s where you show you’re reflecting, not reacting. It’s powerful.

3. Repeat back what you heard
   It sounds basic, but it builds trust instantly. “What I’m hearing is…” can change the whole tone of a conversation.

4. Ask open-ended follow-ups
   Try “What else?” or “Tell me more.” That extra 10 seconds often reveals the real issue or opportunity.

5. Embrace silence
   Let people think. Let the room breathe. Don’t rush to fill the gaps. Some of the best insights happen there.

There was a point in my leadership journey where I had to really stop and reflect: Am I genuinely creating space for others to speak? I wasn’t rushing people, but I noticed that when it came to meetings or 1:1s, I was still doing too much of the talking, too much of the steering. And even with the best intentions, that sends the wrong signal.

So I made a shift.

Before every 1:1, I started blocking out enough time,  not just what was convenient, but what felt respectful. I’d open every conversation by saying,

“This is your time.”

Just that simple phrase. And I meant it.
It changed the energy instantly. People leaned in more. They opened up faster. They didn’t feel like they were fighting to get a word in, they felt invited to take the space.

That choice, to consciously step back and make room for others, has had a bigger impact on my leadership than any training or strategy session. Because when people feel heard, they show up differently. More confident. More connected. More committed.

And that’s what you want as a leader. Not just output, but ownership.

What would shift in your business, in your culture, if people felt truly heard?

Because people don’t need perfect leaders. They need present ones. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say is:

“I’m listening.”

Let that be your edge. Let that be your difference. And trust me,  your team will feel it.